Faith, Feathers, and Finding Peace in the Chaos

How barnyard chaos, motherhood, and ministry keep reminding me who’s really in control.

Three years after losing my mom, I’ve found myself juggling grief, goats, and God’s calling all at once. It’s messy and beautiful, and through it all, I’m discovering the peace that comes from trusting Him in every season.

When Life Feels Like a Barnyard Circus (and God’s Still in the Middle of It)

It’s been three years since my mom passed away and honestly, I’m still trying to figure out how to do life without her steady wisdom and gentle “you’ve got this” phone calls. Some days it still hits hard. Other days I can almost hear her laughing as I’m running across the yard in mismatched boots, chasing goats who’ve decided the garden looks like a buffet.

Because let me tell you, life since she’s been gone has been something else. Between raising chickens, wrangling goats, tending bees, caring for kids, writing a book, and revamping my Christian Mental Wellness Coaching, I’m convinced God must have a sense of humor. There are days I feel like Noah… except instead of building an ark, I’m just trying to keep everyone fed, alive, and out of the neighbor’s yard.

And yet, even in the chaos, I see God’s fingerprints all over it.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

I’ve clung to that verse more times than I can count. Because let’s be honest there are moments when the chickens won’t lay, the bees are moody, the goats are plotting an escape, the kids need me in six different directions, and the words for my book feel stuck somewhere between heaven and my coffee mug.

But even on those days, I sense God whispering, “My grace is enough.”

Reviving my coaching practice has been one of those walk on water moments equal parts faith and fear. After all the grief, growth, and sheer juggling of this season, I’ve realized that true mental wellness isn’t about perfect peace or balance. It’s about inviting God into the imbalance. It’s about saying, “Lord, I don’t have it all together but I know You do.”

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

That verse doesn’t mean I stop feeding the goats or ignore the laundry pile the size of Mount Sinai. It means I pause in the middle of it all take a breath, remember Who’s really holding it all together, and let Him steady my heart.

So if your life feels like a three-ring circus right now, with grief in one corner and chaos in the other, I just want to remind you: you’re not alone. God is not overwhelmed by your mess in fact, He’s right there in it.

Because sometimes the very soil that feels messy and overgrown is the same soil where God is growing something sacred.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

So here’s to chickens, goats, bees, kids, books, coaching dreams, and the beautiful, holy chaos of it all.And here’s to trusting that God’s still in the middle — laughter, tears, and everything in between.